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The Great Grandma Heist: How Edna Outsmarted the System

It was another peaceful day at Premier Estate Buyer Boca Raton, where customers came and went, trading gold and fine jewelry. That was until Edna "Lightning Fingers" McGillicuddy strolled in.

Edna was 92 years old, barely over 4 feet tall, and always carried a mysterious purple handbag the size of a small car battery. But beneath her innocent grandma exterior, she was a legend.

The Ultimate Gold Plan

Edna leaned on the counter. “Sonny,” she croaked, adjusting her oversized sunglasses, “I got some gold to sell.”

Greg, the store manager, nodded. “Of course, ma’am. What do you have?”

With a sly grin, Edna reached into her bag and pulled out…

A solid gold shopping cart wheel.

Greg blinked. “Uh, where did you get this?”

Edna winked. “Ever hear of the Boca Raton Gold Buyer Wheel Shortage of ‘86?”

Greg hadn’t. Nobody had.

“That’s because I CAUSED IT,” Edna whispered.

Grandma’s Gold Rush

As it turned out, Edna had spent the last 30 years slowly swapping out shopping cart wheels at various grocery stores and replacing them with identical ones made of solid gold.

“How did nobody notice?” Greg asked.

Edna shrugged. “People get distracted, dear. One time I took a whole grocery store door and nobody blinked.”

Greg sighed. “Ma’am, we usually deal in jewelry, watches, and coins. Not stolen grocery store parts.”

Edna raised a shaky but firm finger. “Now listen, sonny. I checked, and Estate Buyer Boca Raton is the top-rated gold buyer in town. I wouldn’t trust just anyone with my collection.”

Then, she tipped over her bag, and out spilled:

A golden gas station nozzle
A golden payphone receiver
A golden mailbox flag

And, somehow, an entire golden fire hydrant.

Greg rubbed his temples.

The Deal of a Lifetime

Finally, after several hours of arguing, paperwork, and a brief interruption where Edna tried to sell them a "gold-plated chihuahua" (it was just her neighbor’s dog wearing a gold chain), Greg gave in.

Edna walked out with a fat check, humming to herself.

Greg, meanwhile, sat down, sighed, and checked the news.

The headline read:

"Local Grocery Stores Baffled as Every Shopping Cart in Boca Raton Suddenly Stops Moving."

Greg put his head in his hands.

She had done it again.

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